About Mental Health. A topic that is very dear to my heart and something I've struggled with for longer than I realised. Throughout my teen years I knew something wasn't quite right but hated the idea of opening up about how I felt because I saw it as showing a sign of weakness. I was always to busy being the rock for other people to bother about my wellbeing. Being black, mental illness just wasn't something that was talked about or really understood. When I finally did decide to talk about it all I would ever hear was 'well what have you got to be depressed about, your life is fine' or 'well just try to be happy and you'll be fine'. And I don't blame my parents for those responses because I don't think they really knew what to do.
Stress was, and still can be, a massive trigger for me. I used to have a severe fear of failure and constantly felt that I had to live up to the level of attainment my brother had achieved. This resulted in me putting way too much pressure on myself which culminated in panic attacks in pretty much every exam period I had until I finished university last year. For me, my self-worth was linked to exam grades; if my grades were shit I'd take it extremely hard and when they were good, to me they were never good enough.
I would also get social anxiety when it came to new situations. I would overthink things so much that, by the time the day came, I would make up an excuse not to go purely because the thought of going made me physically sick. Or if I managed to make it, I would spend 99% of my time hiding in a corner until it was time to leave. My third year of university was probably the worst I've ever felt. Most nights I would go to sleep hoping I wouldn't wake up the next morning. The level of stress I put myself under was ridiculous and I could literally feel myself falling into a pit but couldn't find a way to stop it. I constantly had a voice in my head telling me that I wasn't good enough, wasn't pretty enough and that I would never succeed at anything. I felt like I was drowning in a black hole but never reached out for help because I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems. And all through this I would find comfort in food in such an unhealthy way. There were days where I would eat nothing and then days when I would binge and binge and binge then feel shit about myself. The longer this continued, the worse I felt about myself until any little self-confidence I had was non-existent.
Breaking out of that cycle and that mentality was extremely challenging. As mentioned before, I hate burdening people with things but this was something that I had to admit I needed help with. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it shows that you see you have a problem and are actively trying to do something about it. I still have days where getting out of bed is a struggle and where the thought of going somewhere new makes me freak out but I've learnt to ride the waves as they come and to manage stress better so it doesn't build up to an unmanageable level. And I've learnt to talk. Talking is so important. Knowing that you have someone to talk to, whether that be a family member, a close friend, a therapist or a helpline can make all the difference. Samaritans is a charity that is very dear to my heart because of how much it helped me. The anonymity made me feel like I wasn't be judged for feeling the way I did. I eventually got myself a therapist, a luxury that I appreciate not everyone is able to access. Working with her helped me be able to see when an attack or a bad day is going to happen and try to curb it before it becomes full blown. If you are going through a rough time due to your mental health I urge you to talk. To family, friends, your doctor, or Samaritans (details below). Open up. It does not make you weak. In fact, you are stronger than you realise for battling with yourself day in day out.
116 123 (UK & ROI)
jo@samaritans.org
Your mind can be both your best friend and your worst enemy. There are days when you think it's never going to get better. That you'd rather it all end than be a burden to your loved ones. But that is a permanent solution to what truly is a temporary problem. To anyone out there struggling please please please remember, it always gets better. Maybe not right away, but one day, one week, one month or one year from now it will get better. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how long that tunnel may seem.
All my love, Fran x
*prints from Desenio. Find them here and here
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Paris is perhaps my favourite city in the world. I've been more times than I can remember and I fall in love with it more and more each time I go. The architecture, the food, the people and, most importantly, the shopping are a cut above the rest. No matter what time of year you go it is absolutely magical and there really is something for everyone. Here's a breakdown of what I think are some of the must-see and must-do things in Paris.
FOOD
Aside
from the blogger hotspots of L'Avenue, Ferdi and the like, Paris is awash with
great places to eat from little street stands selling crepes to full blown 5*
fine dining. A personal favourite of mine is Au P'tit Grec which is a cheap and
cheerful Crêperie in the Latin Quarter. They do some of the best crêpes I've
ever tasted and the amount of food you get for your money is brilliant. If you
have a taste for something a little more upmarket and typically French then
L'Oiseau Blanc is the place for you. It can be pricey but if you go for lunch
you can get the set menu for €69 per person and that comes with a gorgeous view
of the Eiffel Tower. And for those with a sweet tooth, you don't need to look
any further than Berthillion. Best ice-cream ever. That's all that needs to be
said!
SHOPPING
Shopping
in Paris is, as you'd expect, amazing. If goods are your thing then you are in
for a treat. Rue Saint-Honoré is basically the Parisian Bond Street. All the
designers you could ever imagine have shops in and around the area with Rue
Cambon, the home of the original Chanel, a 5 minute walk away. La Vallée
Village Outlet, a French version of Bicester Village can also be found on the
outskirts of Paris where some good deals can be found. Galeries Lafayette is another
place to head even if it's just to marvel at the gorgeous roof interior in the
main building. Then, obviously, you have the Champs-Élysées. The home of the
mothership that is Sephora and a plethora of designer and more affordable
shops.
SIGHTS
Just
walking through Paris alone is an adventure in itself. Everywhere you turn
there are ridiculously gorgeous buildings and monuments and you can stumble
across the most beautiful streets by pure luck. And better yet, they're all
free to look at! If it's views you're looking for then you will be spoilt
for choice. Obviously you can head up the Eiffel Tower but the queues for that
can be a bit of pain so I would head to Montparnasse Tower. It cost €17 to go
up and gives you wonderful views of all of Paris. Or, you can go to grab a bite
to eat in the restaurant within the Tower and be treated to brilliant food
while you eat. If you don't want to pay then you can always head to the roof of
Galeries Lafayette or to the Sacré-Cœur to get wonderful views for free.
Discover
Walks offer free guided walking tours of Paris so if you don't feel comfortable
finding you're way around or want a bit of extra information about the places
you are visiting then this would be a great option. You can obviously also hire
a guide from multiple outlets if you want a more personalised experience. And
if walking isn't for you then you also have the option of a hop-on hop-off bus
tour that will take you to most of the major sites however, the metro system is
so cheap and easy to use and cuts out the threat of traffic that it is a
perfectly viable option also. You could also hop on a boat and do a tour of the
Seine. A lot of Paris's sites can easily been seen from the river and there is
also the option to have lunch or dinner onboard.
MUSEUMS AND GALLERIES
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| Les Invalides & Musée Rodin |
If
you're an art lover then you'll most definitely love what Paris has to offer.
Other than the Louvre, Musée d'Orsay is a good shout because it is simply
stunning. It's an train station turned museum that houses Impressionist and
Post-Impressionist art from the likes of Monet, Van Gogh and Paul Cezanne. For
me, it is even more impressive than the Louvre and the building it's in is
unreal. You've also got places like the Pompidou Centre, the Musée Rodin, Les
Invalides and the Picasso Museum that are always good to pop in to. If you
happen to be in Paris on the 1st Sunday of the month then you'll be able to get
into a lot of these for free otherwise entrance will cost you no more than €20,
or less if you buy a museum pass.
If
you plan on heading to a few of the museums then it would probably work out
cheaper to buy a pass that allows free entry to them across a couple of days.
You can buy a Museum Pass for €48 for 2 days or €62 for 4 days which allows
free entry into around 50 museums. The Paris Pass includes museums, a Seine
boat trip, hop-on hop-off buses and metro tickets among other things for €135
for 2 days or €199 for 4 days.
So, they're my tips for enjoying a trip to Paris. Have you got any you'd like to share?
So, they're my tips for enjoying a trip to Paris. Have you got any you'd like to share?
Kricket
began as a pop-up in a shipping container in Brixton but earlier this year they
opened up a permanent home in Soho, a stone’s throw away from Piccadilly
Circus. Being a massive fan of Indian food I obviously had to head down there
to try it out.
The restaurant is spread across two floors. The upper is an open kitchen with bar seating and a couple of small booths while downstairs you have large communal tables that are perfect for group dinners. They accept walk-ins for any group size and you can also book in advance for groups of 4 or more. It’s a very relaxed vibe with slightly dimmed lighting
Now,
onto the food. It is not your typical curry and rice Saturday night Indian
takeaway. It’s definitely more of a tapas style restaurant where you order
multiple small plates and share them between you (something which I’m still not
sure I like because I hate sharing food!). Our lovely server recommended
everyone should order 2-3 plates each, depending on appetite of course.
However, as there were 5 of us, and because we were extremely indecisive, we
decided to order one of almost everything on the menu. Our dishes arrived as
and when they were ready which I preferred because it meant we weren’t
overwhelmed with food and were able to try a bit of everything. Dishes ranged
from £3.50 to £11.50 which I thought was pretty reasonable but be warned that
things do add up rather quickly.
My
absolute favourite dish was the Pork Cheek Coorg: slow cooked pig cheeks in a
spicy ragu style sauce. The meat was melt in your mouth soft and the sauce it
was in gave the perfect kick of spiciness without burning your insides.
Absolutely delicious! Honourable mentions also go to the Keralan Fried Chicken
which was wonderfully moist and full of flavour and the Samphire Pakoras that
came with the most delicious chili garlic mayonnaise. The kulcha, a type of
Indian flat bread, were perfect for mopping up the sauces and I would
definitely recommend trying the Bone Marrow version. I didn’t try any of the
cocktails but I have it on good authority that the Dark Matter, a mixture of
spiced rum, mango and agave with a little twist, was top notch. For those who
don’t drink alcohol or just don’t fancy it at that moment, the fresh lime and
mint soda is so refreshing. Between the 5 of us we demolished the first round
of orders and went back in for a second of all our favourites and a few more
cocktails.
By
the time we were done all but one of us was stuffed so dessert was one dish
shared between five. We shared the Gulab Jamun with Vanilla ice cream and Carom
crumble and it was definitely a dish for someone with a sweet tooth. The syrupy
sauce that came with the dessert was a bit sickly for my liking but the carom
crumble was absolutely delicious. The choice of desserts are limited though so
if you decide to visit it definitely won’t be to sample a variety of desserts.
In total, the bill for 5 was around £250. Bear in mind this does include a 12.5% service charge and about 6 cocktails costing £9 each. As I mentioned before, the majority of the dishes are reasonably priced but they add up very very quickly so it pays to keep that in mind when visiting. Overall I would definitely recommend paying a visit to Kricket. It's the perfect place for a good catch up over some lovely, and different, food.
In total, the bill for 5 was around £250. Bear in mind this does include a 12.5% service charge and about 6 cocktails costing £9 each. As I mentioned before, the majority of the dishes are reasonably priced but they add up very very quickly so it pays to keep that in mind when visiting. Overall I would definitely recommend paying a visit to Kricket. It's the perfect place for a good catch up over some lovely, and different, food.
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